christmas / new year’s

you may have already read a version of this. i keep re-working it…

the season is upon us. actually, i heard it called ‘gift-mas’ and that the state religion is consumerism. but like jesus, who may have been of the essenes, i won’t be buying anything. good, i’m glad that’s cleared up. some would call it saintliness, others humbuggery. take your pick.

this was a very moving year. i moved from a group home in welland, with a lot of love and support, to back home. some think it was premature; however. others, including my psychologist, thought it was time. so here i am. as one friend said, now i’m dealing with real issues. many, many thanks to you for helping. squeak!

meanwhile scott and nicole, freeman and fisher and new kid on the block kingsley and cats and dogs and a chicken moved from their farm somewhere near london (location undisclosed for reasons of national security) back to the land of mid–scott with his probat, and nic with her to-die-for baking. they opened grounded coffee company, purveyors of fine fair trade coffees and teas and did i mention the to-die-for baking? oh, and a comfy couch and great music.

freedom! and community support expressed in a recumbent trike. i’ll be training indoors all winter.

but i’m dealing with the changes brought on by this brain thingy–some of it pretty emotional–i need to be up and about more.  (this brain injury has only made things worse, if you consider crying easily or angering unexpectedly a bad thing. maybe it’s not. maybe it’s a reality check, a sort-of stop-and-smell-the-roses check. maybe the gulf between my head and my heart needs shortening. or maybe it’s purely physical: emotions are faster and more primitive than thought, and there’s nothing i can do. or maybe there’s lots i can do  and that way lies wisdom. nevertheless, it’s the new me.)

i’ve been staring into the maw of our future. and it’s not pretty. yet neither has been the past. but there’s hope. just when the days are shortest and darkest, things get longer and the light stronger.

there’s a paradigm shift going on, ‘a movement from one entire worldview to another,’ writes buddhist monk, father, phd, and author jon kabat-zinn in full catastrophe living (1990). ‘there is little doubt that not only medicine but all of science is going through such a shift as the implications of the revolutionary changes … our understanding…. for the most part our day-to-day thinking about physical reality–our tacit assumptions the world, the body, matter and energy–is based on an outmoded view of reality, one that has changed little in the past three hundred years. science is now searching for more comprehensive models that are truer to our understanding of the interconnectedness of space and time, mass and energy, mind and body, even consciousness and the universe.’

best news i heard in a long time. no, seriously. confirmation bias–it’s a wonderful thing. since i like to see clearly, in spite of my double vision, astigmatism, nystygmus, and myopia, i’ll look into this more closely and keep you posted.

the kids are doing great. wes, 22, lives in st. catharines and studies interactive arts and science at brock. cady, 21, studies history at queens. chloe, 16, will go to europe on exchange for 10 weeks


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