‘The great thing about living in a modern democracy is that it is always changing. And I’ve got to hand it to the party in power… ever since we elected this strong, stable, majority government we are getting brand new rights every single day.
Like this past week, the Minister of Justice Rob Nicholson stood up and announced, out of the blue, that if someone comes onto your property and you think they might be there to steal your all-terrain vehicle or catch your car on fire, you have the right to pick up a gun and fire warning shots at them.
Well, thank God that’s cleared up because we all know what it’s like. You look down the bottom of the driveway, you see someone funny. You don’t know what they’re up to. They could be a car burner. Now, I don’t own an all-terrain vehicle but I do own a barbecue, and I don’t like to brag but it’s pretty nice. So next time someone comes into my yard – warning shots. And that goes for you too ‘Mr. Knocking on my door looking for 20 dollars for the Cystic Fibrosis walk just when I’m sitting down to dinner.’ You could be a car burner – warning shot.
Now, the greatest threat to my life as a city dweller has nothing to do with people stealing my property; and everything to do with some idiot in a 4000-pound SUV who does not know how to use a signal light. Be warned: do that again, cut me off without signaling – warning shot. And while we’re at it, people who do not walk in a straight line on the sidewalk, and people who get on an elevator before letting the people inside the elevator off the elevator – warning shots.
Yes, it’s a brave new world. The Minister of Justice, Canada’s top cop, is saying don’t call the cops, fire at will. If you live across the street, you might want to duck.’